"...The hands of the clock buried inside her soul ground to a halt then. Time outside, of course, flows on as always, but she isn't affected by it. For her, what we consider normal time is essentially meaningless."

"Meaningless?"

"Like it doesn't exist...in everybody's life there's a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can't go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That's how we survive."

quote from kafka on the shore

How depressing. And yet, I feel like it's true. True for me at least. Isn't that even more so depressing? I'd think there are many people for whom this doesn't hold. Maybe, I can reject this feeling before it becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy of sorts. After all, time on the outside flows on as always.

if only there was a god to turn to, how nice that would be.
but to believe that there is no such god, takes away all my objective purpose in life.
i make new meanings, and as long as they are meaningful, i live a purposeful life,
once they lose their meanings to me, i'm empty, and i have no default direction to turn to,
no god no hope no purpose.
but whether god is real or not is not what matters,
it is whether I think god is real.
so can i think that god is real, and find some consolation from him
while also believing it to be a myth
why not sacrifice the belief that it is a myth?