Virgin births...and the quantum Y chromosome.

Virgin Births
are NOT miracles,
or are at least common ones.

Jesus to Mary (though Jesus is traced through Joseph's family)
Perseus to Danae through Jupiter
Buddha
Huitzilopochtli to Catlicus
Attis to Nana
Genghis Khan
Krishna to Devaka
Horus to Iris
Mercury to Maia
Romulus to Rhea Sylvia


With virgin births, we don't need men anymore, or do we? Ironically, only males are conceived (thus far) through virgin births. Breakthroughs in science have shown that they occur via the elusive quantum Y chromosome which combines with the virgin egg X chromosomes.

The quantum Y chromosome has not been found to reappear for a long time and according to basic statistics, the likelihood of it doing its work is increasing with every day that it doesn't. Yet, the scientific community claim that the quantum Y chromosome might be quantum to the extent that it does not follow statistics and probability. Others have claimed that the reason behind the apparent poverty of the Y chromosome is the knowledge and technology of abortions. It is argued that a virgin birth may be embarrassing for women and they many abortions may have followed silently.

Many supporters of this view blame this on the increasing percentage of Asians in the world population and their mentality for favoring male children over female ones. Feminist outrages have so far been sporadic. Less racist feminists protest against the sexist nature of the quantum Y chromosome. Scientists have dismissed that as a waste of time as the Y chromosome is by nature sexist. Itnow appears that genes may be selfish and sexist. Still others argue that the theory is sexist as it does not take into account a quantum X chromosome. The French scientist Laplace, who was crucial in the development of this theory, has said, "Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse", which translates to "I had no need of that hypothesis." Less arrogantly, a team of graduate students in California have claimed to have proof that the X chromosome would be too large to operate under the mechanism of quantum mechanics.

Cdesign proponentists have argued this to be further evidence for design in the universe. "It is not by chance that virgin births only give rise to male offspring. A man is necessary for normal fertilization to give rise to female offspring." Yet some young earth creationists argue against this saying that the quantum Y chromosome is still a controversial theory within science that lacks evidence. They insist that virgin births are divine. Billy Redneck of Alabama explains, "when you see a pregnant woman, you know that she got in the haystack with a man. For it to happen just by chance is liberal donkeys." Asked how his statement can explain the virgin birth of Jesus, he continues, "that's divine as written in the Holy Bible."

Pro-choice opinions increased dramatically on the internet but has reached a state of confusion, by expanding the term often unintentionally but mistakenly, to include the choice of getting pregnant. Various religious groups have different takes on the matter, the most vocal of which is from a prominent religious institution which takes the fatalistic stance and opposes human intervention against the will of god.

Conservative groups in the United States held protests last Monday outside various institutions of higher education demanding that further research into what they call "the sexual nature of God" be stopped immediately. Televangelist Robert Patterson announced on Wednesday, "...to the good citizens of the scientific community: if you have a disaster in your sex life, don't turn to God. You just outraged his modesty." Most scientists are not worried about this as they claim that viagra and artificial insemination usually solves the problem. One recent ad by pharmaceutical company Sex On Drugs in Britain has the theme "No talk, just action". It shows 2 men and one smoking hot woman in a little crisis. One man goes to the corner and starts praying and engaging in glossolalia. The other pops a little blue pill and gets it on with the lady. At the end of the commercial, the lady gives a satisfied smile at the camera and says seductively, "it's not your fault you're in a bit of a jam. Pay the toll and get on the highway to heaven."

The quantum Y chromosome discovery has been hailed as a momentous event in science because it is the first time an organic structure, whether this constitutes life is debatable, is found to be able to operate within quantum mechanics. This opens the possibility to future quantum entanglement of other organic cells and eventually full living complex organisms such as human beings. This would mean teleportation. Slightly more controversially, this has allowed the field of science and religion to meet although in dangerously unpredictable waters.